I sit on granite stairs and ponder theoretical practices of match making and the rhythm of interactions. There are several known facts about a setting that govern our social interactions, some are apparent and some need to be dictated as they become actualized, others can be explained once the subject committing to the behavior is understood.
Some rules I have encountered thus far are as follows:
In a bar, you dress to impress, don’t stare, use your peripherals, buy her a drink first, ask her questions, make her talk, be interesting, don’t be negative, smile, don’t stand in one spot for more than a minute, never sit down, never do a face-to-face, and never, ever expose your private parts and start dancing.
In a club, you dress to impress, you dance territorially, get the girls early, buy them drinks, don’t ask questions, dance like a champion, and always buy the top shelf; looks are everything in a dark room.
In a farmer’s market you… and on and on.
Every moment comes with its own rules, guidelines to being the king of the social experiment; all boiling down to one singular idea: BE COOL…ALL THE TIME.
The inherent problem of living by these contextual guides is that they are simultaneously subjective and complete bullshit. There is no “right” way to enjoy yourself or meet people. People who clash in public are not meant to interact and it is merely a game of numbers until the right people meet each other and create a bond of camaraderie or romance. This we call the ideal, that our actions are right when they are genuine and that we are free from all contextual encounters that have no merit on our personal lives.
However if enough people believe in the contextual guidelines then they become reality. Those who do not believe in the same reality are delegated to the outside of the group, given no credence, and are submittable to hazing and degradation. Reality becomes a social divider, elevating whoever adheres to the rules and destroying those who do not.
Then add to the equation the douchebag. The douchebag lives and breathes social guidelines, they lie to fit in and are the first to quote a rule and exclude people who do not believe in the same things. The douchebag is close minded, single minded, and susceptible to the fluctuations in pop culture as to what is “the coolest and most hip”. In general, a douchebag is created from a moderate level of success with a deep seeded insecurity that was never fixed once they achieved something they were working towards, and thusly created an insatiable appetite for being prominent and worshipped by strangers.
Now we take our ideals, compare them to reality, and realize we are swimming in a world full of douchebags. If the world is comprised mostly of douchebags, then our reality becomes the guidelines that are subjective interpretations of society and thusly our ideals are cast out. We are then forced to make a choice, do we become douchebags ourselves to fit in, or do we face exile and hold on to our ideals.
I want to believe there is a line we can walk that dances down the middle, where we can be strong individuals amidst other strong individuals who are able to interact and comprehend each other’s point of view. I believe in a world that does not prescribe to these guidelines put forth by douchebags who are trying desperately to control their live vicariously through others. I refuse to believe the ultimate goal for every male is to get laid at the end of the night and I am disgusted by the perpetuation of the stereotype that we are “supposed” to be a certain way.
I have thought long and hard on my granite steps, thinking about the vast scope of human existence and the world we possess, the cities we dwell in, and the people we surround ourselves with. I can tell from the accumulated knowledge I have gleaned that we are not creatures of pure emotion, we have thought, logic, sincerity, discretion, and the ability to think outside of our bodies, powerful processes that we can use to create greatness and inspire others.
We must be strong enough to stand up for our ideals against the reality created by douchebags who seek nothing but the fleeting satisfaction of being the big dick who gets the pussy at the end of the night.