Fred Segal needs to diversify

According to Yelp.com, the bar I went to last night was described as “upscale and classy,” which I learned after walking in, is a way of attracting emotionally dense, human air bags with leather coats and suit jackets from the men’s warehouse.

I like suits, looking good is looking good, professional, smart and clean, and leather jackets are stylish, efficient ways of keeping warm while still looking good and I honestly appreciate the fine craftsmanship and tempering leather jackets (either lamb or cow hide) must go through to get that fine soft finish.

My problem comes up when EVERYONE IS WEARING THE SAME THING. It scares me when 4-5 guys, who clearly coordinated their slicked back hair with the groomed-to-be-grunge beard stubble, flock through a crowded dance room and feel important. I don’t see individuals, I see morons; I see a flock of chickens wearing the same colors, bobbing their empty heads to a dj beat they can’t help but dig, waiting for a hen to peck. Sorry, you are not Bono, and you don’t do anything important enough to warrant your pseudo schwanky facade.

Women are not much better. Apparently “upscale” translates to Kim Kardashian rip-off hooker looking for green pockets and cheeky stories about boats. I wouldn’t waste a single breath asking you what problems you are creating for yourself. Despite your beauty and warm upbringing, you just can’t help but be miserable and ugly inside, just enough that if anyone was to really ask, all that make up and cleavage would dissipate to broken dreams and false hope.

I can’t say I’m any better than the people I was surrounded by. I stood there idly sipping my beer in my 16 dollar salvation army jacket taken off a dead guy before they buried him. I think my shoes were more expensive than my entire outfit. But I stood there with wax palmers in my hair bobbing my head in response to the odd gyration of overweight latinos who just love taking pictures so they can comment later on about “YOU SO BEAUTIFUL”. Even though…they are really quite ugly by traditional standards. I assume they have a good sense of humor. I honestly can’t say being the judgmental wallflower is any better than the mindless wandering horn dogs. We are, after all, in the same place.

I want to like people but sometimes the way social situations structure themselves bother me. I can’t help but think of the trivial bullshit that accumulates in between people’s ears to the point where they are emotionally insecure, inhibited by surface encounters and the smell of sweet, over the counter at Macy’s, perfume that whaffs through the air when they apathetically walk to the bathroom. I feel like I am back in the jungle (that I’ve never been to) and all the animals are humping and swinging and eating and fucking and pissing on the floor, indifferent to the aesthetics of the natural world, enveloped by the humility of the crowd, knowing they do not stand out, but are still struggling to be heard, reaching for contact in a mute, unapologetic setting that they do not control or have a place in.

Upscale is not for me. I prefer the humble, genuine setting of a townie bar, with its townie people, complaining about sports statistics, and what a good game that one game was. There is no dress code, no odd stares for being odd, no judgement other than knowing, without any delusion that you are in a BAR.

People are not what they wear, they are not what they say; People are what they do and why they do it. Your socks won’t save your soul when the final judgement comes, from whatever higher power you believe, and the only true judge of character will be your subconscious, dictating without you knowing it, how you feel, and how you treat others. And at the end of the day if you feel like crying, if you feel alone and cold, THEN YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG and your life needs to change. Revelation leads to revolution which leads to reinvention. Through reinvention we become better, whole people, worth the time, worth the effort, and worthy of attention for being so great.

I will say the night was a successful night, I made a sushi date with a beautiful girl and I went home with a smile on my face that did not leave me until I fell into a peaceful slumber.